Problems with ad
- Text is banal and unmemorable
- Figure is motionless and it’s wide-eyed staring is off putting and unwelcoming
THE REWRITE
TEXT INSTEAD WOULD BE…
IT ALL STARTS WITH A QUOTE…
VISIT edfenergy.com
(FIGURE IS SMILING WITH HIS HAND HELD OUT)
- More welcoming
- Figure is active and therefore the ad’s message is more memorable